Mom,
I understand you have concerns. You're my parent, that's your job. But I wish you could have given me a chance to explain my choices before you make an assumption. I am not moving to Tucson because of Wesley. I am not changing schools because of him.
I'm changing schools because I am miserable at NAU. I'm changing schools because after I decided to change my major, I looked at what my options were at NAU, and none of them interested me. This school is good for music (sort of), education, and forestry, and I do not want to pursue any of those. Aside from that, a degree from NAU is not going to be as respected as a degree from a highly respected research university, and in this economy and job market, I need all the help I can get.
As for my plan? Honestly, I don't know yet. I know I want to explore my other interests, and as of now, I'm leaning toward psychology or political science. I also know that looking at the course catalog excites me more than the idea of any class at NAU ever did. I'm excited to learn again, and that has to be worth something.
I know you don't think I've put enough thought into this decision, but I can assure you that I've put more thought into this change than I probably put into coming to NAU in the first place. As for the scholarship/financial support...I would've lost my scholarship as soon as I stopped taking classes toward a music major, so that just wasn't a factor. Yes, UofA's tuition is marginally more expensive than NAU's, but housing and meals will be a fraction of what they were this year. Half of the rent for an apartment (~$300/month) and food will be so much cheaper than the $6500 we paid for a dorm and meal plan. Obviously it's not going to be easy, and I'm not counting on it being easy. In fact, I'm sure it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I'm actually looking forward to it. I want this challenge.
The reason I left on Wednesday morning without talking about it was that I was extremely upset, and I didn't feel it was appropriate to discuss it in front of Kenny. I was also concerned that I would overreact and say something that would make the situation worse. But I will address your concerns about Wes.
~He does not have any of my email passwords. He knew the password that unlocks my computer because he used it while he was here and it just got annoying passing the computer back and forth so I could turn it on.
~Wesley is not isolating me from my friends and family. In fact, it's the exact opposite. He is the one that tried to get me out of my dorm room and to go out with friends. Wesley is the person that convinced me I needed to get out of bed and go to class when I was too depressed or anxious to do anything. This would be an extremely valid concern if it were true. If you have specific examples, I'd love to hear them.
~Wesley is not on a conditional release from prison (parole), he is on probation. He meets with his probation officer monthly and does community service to meet the requirements set by the judge that heard his case.
~By your reasoning, Kenny will also turn out to be an abusive partner, since everyone that hits their siblings turns into a wife beater.
~I encounter more second hand smoke walking in and out of Cowden than I ever have at Wes'.
~He used to smoke, and yes, he drinks, but he's old enough. He doesn't drink to excess, at all. In fact, he hardly ever drinks. There is no peer pressure involved, and honestly, it doesn't matter if there was, because if I wanted to drink or smoke weed, I could get my hands on it with just a phonecall or two. I'm in college. Legality is not going to stop anyone if they want it.
~He's never tested positive on a drug test while he's been on probation.
~There is a difference between wanting and needing, but honestly, I'm not sure he didn't need a beer. What you didn't see while we were sitting in that theatre full of people (literally, completely full) was Wesley having a panic attack. You're right. He probably is self-medicating, but that's only because he doesn't have the medication he needs or the means to get it. As for drinking on medication, you drink, more than he does, and I know you're not supposed to on Topamax (lower seizure threshold), and I'm pretty sure that goes for any anti-depressants.
~I know he has a fantastic sense of humor. That is one of the reasons I love him. Did you ever think for one moment that it may have disappeared because he was so nervous around you and Dwight? He wanted nothing more than for the two of you to like him, and as far as I could tell, was on his best behavior all weekend.
Honestly, it doesn't matter to me whether or not you approve of my relationship. You have raised me to be a competent, contributing adult, and you did a pretty damn good job of it. I know I'm the oldest, and I'm sure it's hard to let go, but you need to. You need to let me be the adult you've raised me to be. I won't ever learn if you won't let me make my own decisions and realize the outcome of those decisions. Right now, it seems to me that giving Wesley a chance is one of the best decisions I've ever made. No, he isn't perfect, but neither am I. No one is. I can't choose who I fall in love with based on some petty criteria you want me to follow. It doesn't work that way. I just wish you could see how happy he's made me over the past nine months and be happy for me.
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