5

Today, I wrote.
I wrote a few of those letters that you never send- to people that have been treating me terribly and to people I just want to rant at- and then deleted them off my computer.
I kept and revised one of those letters to a person who has treated me badly this week- and sent it. It might not make any difference, but it made me feel better, since he is ignoring me, and I needed to get some things out of my head and on to paper (well, email.)
And possibly the most important one: I wrote a letter to the man I think I'm falling in love with. Not to tell him that I'm falling in love with him; he already knows that. Instead, to tell him all the reasons why. It wasn't meant to be what it turned into...in fact, I don't even know what I meant it to be. I just knew I wanted to write him a letter. But then I started writing, and as often happens with me and my silly brain, I couldn't stop (reminds me of a lyric..."if I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to"). That's okay, though. I like how it turned out. It doesn't sound like a letter. It sounds like me. A physical thing to keep when I'm not with him...which is often.

12 days til BFF and I go on our roadtrip.
32 days til I move out of my house.
35 days til I turn 18.
36 days til I start college.
This summer is kicking so much ass.

I want to say that I'll be able to update this a lot more during school, but the harsh reality is that that is probably just not going to be possible. I just don't have a lot to say right now. Not a ton happening...But I know that college is going to give me a lot to ponder and a lot of new experiences, so I want to be sure I ponder them in a way that I can go back and look at them later. Maybe. We'll see...