fever dream

I have no idea what happened. This was supposed to be perfect, but you say I'm "bringing you down" and you want to move out. I wish you would have told me sooner. I would never say anything to hurt you. Not on purpose. I understand that this has been hard for you, but it hasn't been a cakewalk for me, either. I'm just better at hiding my emotions. I guess it's just hard for me when you talk about The Perfect Boy, and I'm still looking for him...and I like to think I've found him, and then you point out his shortcomings. I don't know what I'm doing here, and I don't know why I'm wasting my time. I know you miss your family, and can't figure out why I don't...but I do, more than I thought I would. And more than that, I miss my friends. You and A have changed since we moved...maybe you haven't changed, but I'm realizing that I can't be around the two of you all the time. And I miss the friends in the Valley that were my family. Some days, I feel like I've made a huge mistake moving up here...I don't want us to not be friends after this, but I don't think I can spend all my time with you anymore, otherwise we really will sabotage our friendship by the end.