Monday, September 29, 2008

I'm just a fucked up girl looking for a little peace of mind.

Wow. I was so right. This weekend was worth the wait and more. He is the perfect person for me, and I am so lucky to have found someone like him. He makes no excuses for himself, and won't let me try to make excuses for my shit. He loves me for who I am. He wants me for my body and my mind. I've found guys who want one or the other, but he truly appreciates both. He has all this crap that he's been through, but all he seems concerned with is helping me with my problems...and I don't understand how one person's heart can be that big.

I love just being with him. I miss the feeling of his hand in mine, and it's going to be hard to fall asleep tonight without him here holding me (even though, let's face it, two tall people in a twin sized dorm bed sucks, a lot...). Bleh. He's the one person I feel truly comfortable with, and he's 400 freakin miles away.

Friday, I picked him up from the Greyhound station and skipped rehearsal to hang out with him. We didn't do anything other than lay in the grass and just talk. On Saturday, we decided to walk around downtown (I wanted to go exploring!) and got some really good food, and did too much walking in sandals. Sunday, we went out for breakfast and then (I) decided I wanted to get a movie to watch, so we did some more walking and got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (somehow, I haven't seen it, but it's on his top 5, and now it's in mine, too.) I am Clementine, in so many ways. All the in between times were just spent sitting somewhere and talking...and even though he's ADD and can't sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time, it was still amazing. That's what I'll miss the most. I showed him my two places I go to write or just think, and now that someone has shared them with me, they aren't the same. Now they're us. And damn, do I like the sound of that. I really do think I'm falling in love with him. We walked back downtown on Saturday night for dinner, it poured, we almost jinxed the penultimate Diamondbacks game of the season, it poured some more, we walked some more...it didn't even matter that it was probbaly 40 degrees and raining outside...all that mattered, at that moment, and all weekend, was that we were together.

I took him to the Greyhound station this morning, and I missed him before he got on that bus. It was bizarre, walking those same paths through campus that (literally) just hours before I had been walking with him...I've just never felt like this with anyone else.

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