I've realized that I don't take anything seriously enough. Mostly with school, and especially with my music classes. I have this bad habit of ignoring things that are easy, and panicking when I realize my grade is low. It's happening right now in Sightsinging and Dictation, and it will happen in my English class. It's already happened in piano. I just want to take classes that interest me. Sightsinging? Not so much. Class piano? Definitely not. English? Sorta, but not the stuff we're covering.
I'm thinking about changing my major. Not just thinking, definitely seriously considering. I don't think performance will get me anywhere, and I don't think I'll be able to cut it...especially considering the history of this studio. My professor hasn't graduated a performance major from her studio in at least five years, and she can't even prepare people to pass their upper-division juries (sorry. music speak.). I want to do a music degree, but not performance and definitely not education. I need to check on if my scholarship is affected by me being a BA student instead of a BMPerf, and what the requirements are.
I know I won't make it in performance. There aren't enough jobs, and I'm not good enough. I don't want to teach. I'm really thinking about finishing my music degree (I'm paying for it, I'm going to do something I want to do...) and then going to med school. I've always wanted to do something in psychology or psychiatry, but I'm not positive what. Maybe I'll find some other medical field that I love and...yeah. Something needs to change. I can't perform my entire life, and I want to help people. I'm meant to do some good in this world, I can feel it.
A few side notes:
There's a full on politics/election post in the works. Hang tight.
I may be moving this blog over to WordPress.
I am completely and totally in love.
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