This is the sound of settling.

The best literature deserves more than one glance. It isn't often that one can pick every nuance, meaning, or theme out from one reading. Reading a book that I read in high school and remembering parts, but also realizing the blatant points that I missed, or the ones that weren't really relevant to me then but are now...that's an odd, but great, feeling. I need to reread a lot of things, by that standard.

I've changed so much in the past year. About a year ago, I was calling up my orchestra teacher far too early for a Sunday to find out the results of my all-state audition, tearing up before I found out, and then doing a combo celebrate/cry/happy dance around my house knowing that I actually accomplished the one thing I wanted before I graduated. I still can't believe that I had that experience, and all the other things I've done, but I wonder what me from a year ago would say if she knew how it ended. I certainly didn't think it was going to go down the way it did.

Weather in Flagstaff is the most random thing ever. All last week, it was crazy cold and windy and weird, and then yesterday was gorgeous, and today, we're back to WIND. LOTS AND LOTS OF WIND.

I procrastinate. It's a fact of life. Sometimes I wonder if my procrastination is not being able to focus on something long enough to get it done. I get distracted. Maybe I should start writing down due dates a day or two early, so that I get it done. Or maybe I should just stop procrastinating, and do things when I'm supposed to.

I still think Flagstaff is a beautiful place, but I'm realizing more and more that living in a beautiful small town isn't good enough for me. I need the city, I need the feeling that if I couldn't sleep, I could go out and do something. I want...I don't know what I want. I want to not be stuck on campus all the time.

My brain is not conducive to studying, reading, or writing as something I need to do. I have to empty it of thought; turn on some music to give myself a background to make that unruly, unconcentrated part of my brain something to focus on so that the part I want to use can go to work. I get these thoughts that flit around my head, and it's like they won't go away unless I turn my head to the side and smack it until they float out my ear...or write them down. That works too.

I saw the police chase a kid down the pedway from my dorm window earlier. That was weird.