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My cello professor said today "I guess when I learned this, I learned it as a cellist. I learned it note by note, phrase by phrase...it's a different language. It's not in my vocabulary."

I'm playing Max Bruch's Kol Nidrei for this semester's recital. The Kol Nidre is a prayer from the first service of Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). It is basically a prayer for forgiveness and redemption for all of one's sins of the past year. "May all the people of Israel be forgiven, including all the strangers who live in their midst, for all the people are in fault." It is an absolutely beautiful piece of music, and I don't care if you're Jewish or not, I think that thought of atonement and redemption is something that we all strive to attain in our lives. I don't know how it isn't in anyone's vocabulary.

Anyway. Just from the tiny bit of research I've done (yay wiki!), I've gotten a lot of ideas on how it should sound when I play it. But really. I kill myself. I know exactly what I want to do with my music at all times. Every phrase, every moment, every note has a soul. But I don't have the technique to make what I hear in my head come through my instrument. Argh.