Freshman Update 1

Well, I'm a week in and I love it more than I could have ever imagined. I knew it would be a good change for me, but this is pretty much the perfect situation for me.

I moved out, the parents left, and I turned 18. I started classes, placed second to last chair in symphony (ha.) and am living with my best friend. I've hung out with all the people I love more than I ever did in high school. I've stayed up late, laughing about nothing. I've shared meals with the most amazing people, taken long walks around campus, and done whatever the fuck I want for an entire week, and I have another four years of this. I love my life. I love my friends.

If laughing really does make you live longer, this experience will add years to our lives.

Packing...

I don't want to.

I thought I was so ready for this, but I'm really not. I'm excited, but it hit me a few days ago that I really don't know what to expect, and that kinda scares me a lot.

I've been packing all day, and really, the only thing I've managed to get done is rip my room apart and shove all my clothes into 3 suitcases. So, my clothes (except for what I'm wearing for the next 8 or 9 days) are packed. And that is it. Nothing has been cleaned, nothing has been packed, but I have had a mini-breakdown and dumped it on him...and he came through with flying colors. Again. Somehow, no matter how much I'm freaking out, he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. Mini-breakdowns seem to be the theme of this summer...and always while I'm cleaning (physically or mentally). I've probably cried more this summer than I have in the past three years, and I'm glad. Crying makes me think, and as much as I hate it, my head is always clearer after a long crying jag. I think I'm a different person today than I was on May 22nd, and the person I was on May 22nd is different than the one I was when I started senior year...things that happen.

Senior year was crazy. I found out who my true friends were, and there was even more of that during this summer. I realized that graduating really does pull you away from the people that are still in high school, no matter how close you are to them. I'm really glad that BFF is my roommate for next year. Shit. Nine days. Which means there's only what, twelve til I'm legal? Sweet. I'm completely ready for college...but I'm starting to feel anxious and a little apprehensive. Not as cocksure as I usually am about everything. I can't imagine how I would have been if I had ended up at East Coast Women's College or Large California Public University...probably a nervous wreck. But instead, I'm only a little nervous, and counting on the fact that I'm only a two hour drive from home to calm me down.

I'm sure that once I'm there, I'll be fine.

Baseball...

I love my Diamondbacks. Been to three games in the past week, in fact. They've lost all three, but it was still good times. I think I've been to more games this summer than I have in the past nine seasons combined. I've become something of a fanatic this year, and I like it. What I don't like, however, is the assumption that because I'm female I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to baseball. J and I went to the second game of the Braves series on Friday night. She's a lifelong Red Sox fan, I'm a lifelong Diamondbacks fan, and we got in an argument about the DH. She likes it, I don't. The two men in front of us seemed to think we were a novelty- keeping score, knowing what we were talking about, knowing the importance of different statistics, making fun of the RallyBacks (baseball bimbos)...well, excuse me for living, eating, and breathing baseball. I can't help that I choose to know more about a sport than most guys.

Speaking of...guys? If you want a girl who likes baseball, you should look amongst your own friends first. I have so many guy friends that love baseball who say things like "I wish I could find a girl that likes baseball..." I just want to say. "Um...HELLO. right here. Yeah, hi." That goes for any other random interest, not just baseball. Also...if you find a girl who says she likes baseball, test her by watching a game at home, not taking her. You may have found the girl who will say she likes anything for a guy to like her...and she'll end up being the girl that wears the heels to a baseball game for the trudge to the nosebleeds. BAD.

I love baseball. I don't always know what I'm talking about (sabremetrics, anyone?), but I do try. I would drop any plans for a chance to go to a game...but I've imposed a ban from Chase Field on myself for the rest of the season. Maybe they'll stop losing.

Shattered.

Next weekend, I might end up doing something that I thought I would never do.

I think I'm setting myself up to break my own heart, this time.

(How many times can I break before I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after)

Thoughts.

My high school started classes yesterday. It's weird, not being there...but I don't miss it. At all. I'm packing for college, and that thought freaks me out. I thought I was ready for this...but I thought wrong.

The roadtrip was absolutely amazing. I'm giving up on tanning, though, because my Irish skin just doesn't like the sun- I got no color at the beach, but in the same amount of time at a baseball game, with the same amount of sunscreen, I got a bizarre sunburn on the tops of my thighs, face, and scalp, along with a kick ass flip flop tan.

NAU move-in is in 13 days.
My 18th birthday is in 16 days.

Yeah, I'm not counting down, or anything...but holy shit. I have less than two weeks.

8

I had a fantastic time.

And we didn't get too horribly lost...home in one piece. That's always good, right?